Last night I was sitting at the kitchen counter at Villa Soleil discussing paint colors with Melissa when she suddenly says, google “Segway stroller lady”. Up pops an entire page of “apologies”. At the top of the list is the site Gizmodo. I click on it and there on my screen is a picture of none other than my best friend and business partner, Melissa Hofstetter, under the title “I am Very Sorry, Segway Stroller Lady“!
Evidently, three years ago, when Melissa was baby-sitting for her nephew Josh in Seattle, someone snapped a photo of her on her Segway, pushing a baby stroller across the street. Gizmodo picked it up, titled it “This is what we’ve become: Woman pushes baby on Segway – we hope you’re proud of yourselves” and dispersed it to the anonymity of the internet. It was further picked up by other bloggers and humerists, even entire articles were written about what a fat, lazy society we have become with this photo used as an example. All without the knowledge of either Melissa or her family. Then, last week, Joshua comes across the three-year-old photo and post and emails Melissa. Her son, Chris, and Josh both go ballistic and get in touch with Jason Chen, who writes the Gizmodo apology post blog.
You see, what Jason Chen and everyone else couldn’t tell from the photo is that Melissa is an amputee. A necessary procedure when the chemotherapy she underwent 15 years ago didn’t stop the cancer cells growing in her leg. She was given the choice of “lose your leg or lose your life”. With three children ages 3, 5 and 9 that was an easy choice. The Segway was a gift from her husband in 2001 to help her continue to live her life to the fullest extent possible with those 3 active growing children while also keeping abreast of her several business endeavors (Villa Soleil, The Powderhouse and Creative Visions), with the least amount of physical pain from her prosthetic as possible.
I read with interest the responses to Chris’s very angry post, and the many people who berated him for his anger at this “one-time” instance. Again, people who have not lived in their shoes casting stones! You see, when you are out in public with Melissa and her Segway, two things are bound to happen:
1) You will feel like you are with a rock star because EVERYBODY stares and stops her to ask questions about the device, which would likely be manageable EXCEPT that
2) at least one person is likely to also make some ridiculous statement similar to Jason Chen’s, and at the top of their voice to make sure that Melissa hears them. I myself have been known to set these ignorant people straight on the street or in restaurants.
Unfortunately, in our society, this leap to judgment of others happens all too often. My sister had back surgery at age 16, and was told she would never walk again. She has walked, for 40 years, and bore and raised two children on top of it. She struggles to get around, and yet it is not as evident as it would be if she used a wheelchair, walker or even a cane. When I would be out with my father, who carried an oxygen tank, and her, it was always my father that got the offers of help or directions to the elevator while she would be directed to the stairs. Every day, if she protests, or asks for help, or gets grumpy because she has stood in line longer than she can tolerate, and likely because she is overweight, she gets the same looks and ill disguised attitude as Melissa, and I’m sure countless others in their shoes, endure.
Anyone who knows Melissa personally knows that she refuses to let her “handicap” affect any aspect of her life, and I am truly blessed to know her. Her attitude and willingness to help and encourage others who are going through similar experiences is an inspiration to all those around her.
It also makes both of our families, friends for over 30 years, happy to be able to provide people of all abilities the opportunity to experience the beauty of St. Croix and Villa Soleil. We have had guests over the years that range from being cancer survivors to being blind to being paraplegic. Melissa, of course, is a great resource for all our ability challenged guests, as she knows first hand what resources are available and what are truly handicapped accessible restaurants and activities on the island.
So the next time you see or hear of someone acting or re-acting in a way that leads you down the path of judgment, try taking a step back for a moment and realize that things may not be the way they seem. And if you’re looking for a Caribbean vacation rental villa for your next dream vacation, know that the Barnetts and Hofstetters will take good care of you when you come to Villa Soleil, no matter what your circumstances, physical or otherwise!
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Tags: melissa, segway, stroller lady